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Introduction: “I have never met anyone who understood Russians.” - Collectivism versus Individualism
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“Don't bring your own rules into a strange monastery” (Translation).
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Physical contact by Russians—touching another person — is a sign that things are going well and that a degree of rapport has been reached. The degree of physical contact will indicate how well things are going. Placing a hand on another person's arm, for example, or embracing, are good signs.  Closeness and physical contact with other persons are much more common in Russia than in the West, a heritage of the village past when people lived in close proximity in small huts. Russians also stand very close when conversing, often less than twelve inches, which is closer than most Americans will find comfortable. They do not hesitate to make physical contact and invade the other person’s space.


American Muriel had to explain to her girlfriends that when Russian Sergei moved very close to them during a conversation, he was not making passes. He would stand eight inches away, much closer than the distance at which Americans feel comfortable: it's the Russian way. Nor was he trying to look soulfully and romantically into their eyes.
MANY AN AMERICAN has returned from a first visit to Russia exclaiming, “I don’t understand why we have had such difficulties with the Russians. They’re just like us.” Subsequent visits—and a closer look—will reveal that Russians and Americans do indeed have differences. This book will seek to explain those differences and to help Americans understand why Russians behave like Russians. In the process, American readers may also learn why they behave like Americans. After all, as one sociologist explained, “To know one country is to know none”.


Russians are in the habit of looking directly and unblinkingly at the person they are addressing. Fred had to tell Irina not to "stare" at his American friends, who were uncomfortable when she concentrated her gaze on them.
The Surface similarities between Russians and Americans


Body language situations are particularly tricky because the problem remains unstated; the American does not say "You're standing so close I feel uncomfortable," and a Russian does not ask "Why are you looking away from me?"
The surface similarities between Russians and Americans are readily apparent. The most obvious is Russian appearances.  Like America, the majority of Russians are white (Cacasian, called Slavs or a Slavic person).  If you took the average white Russian, fattened him or her up by 50 pounds, and then had them shop for grotesque  clothes at a local Wal-Mart, they would look like an average American. 


On meeting and parting there is far more embracing, kissing and holding hands among Russians than among Americans. Carol explained to her girlfriend that Fyodor was not trying to flirt when he took her arm while escorting her to a cab after dinner; he was being a gentleman.
Russians feel a common identity with Americans as citizens of multiethnic, continental great powers. In history, both nations have been expansionist. Americans moved west from the Atlantic coast across the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains to the Pacific Ocean. Russians expanded mostly east across the Ural Mountains and the vast stretches of Siberia to the Pacific shores, and beyond to Alaska in 1741.  


She, in turn, could not get used to the way the Russian wives of her American friends took her arm in the street.
Both tamed a wilderness. Indeed, as Russian and American historians have noted, there is a frontier spirit shared by Siberia and the American West.  Both Russians and Americans regard themselves as chosen nations with a messianic mission, destined to bring their own versions of enlightenment to a less fortunate people.  America and Russia today are also nuclear powers with the capacity to destroy each other and the rest of the world as well.


Accustomed to close physical contact, Russian men, as well as women, touch when talking. Women dance with other women if there are not enough men to go around or if not asked by a man for a dance.  
Americans and Russians also think big. Both are energetic and inventive. Russians appreciate the casual, direct, and often blunt American way of speaking, which they liken to their own—without pretense and different from the West European manner, which they find too formal, indirect, and less sincere. Yet Russians, despite their traditional suspicion of foreigners, show heartfelt hospitality to visitors from abroad, a trait they share with Americans.


Russian men embrace and kiss each other, on the lips as well as cheeks. As author Yale Richmond recounted, he once had a male kiss planted on my lips, much to his surprise, at the end of a long and festive evening.  
The deeper differences between Russians and Americans
In Russia there is the desire “… to find the balance between the conflicting outlooks of Europe and Asia, between Western claims to personal freedom and Oriental insistence on the integration of the individual into the community.”
--Nicolas Zernov, Russian Orthodox theologian.13


Americans are advised, however, not to initiate such spontaneous displays of affection, as President Jimmy Carter learned when he kissed Leonid Brezhnev (on the cheek) at their Vienna summit meeting, much to Brezhnev’s surprise and embarrassment.
Americans are rated as the most individualistic country in the world at 91%  Whereas Russians are rated as 39%.
; School discipline 


An American teacher of Russian recalls how, while studying at Moscow State University, a Russian instructor playfully rapped the knuckles of some Americans in his class as a sign of displeasure over their inadequate preparation for the day’s lesson:
Many Americans ask, what is the difference between Americans and Russians? The fastest answer  is “collectivism”.  In contrast to Americans, who are rated  the most individualistic country in the world, Russian, stradling Europe and Asia, have a unique mindset which is both East and West.   
   
The topic of collectivism will be discussed in [chapter].
The American men, in an uproar at both the teacher’s invasion of their space and his use of body contact to enforce his wishes, went immediately after class to the director to complain about the instructor’s behavior. … As a result, the instructor was reprimanded and told to maintain “a proper distance” from his students and to refrain from all physical contact with Americans, “who do not understand these things.”<ref> Barbara Monahan. (1983). A Dictionary of Russian Gesture. Tenafly, NJ: Hermitage. 15.</ref>
   
There are times, however, when Russian knuckles should be rapped. George F. Kennan wrote:
:"The Russian is never more agreeable than after his knuckles have been sharply rapped...The Russian governing class respects only the strong.  To them, shyness in dispute is a form of weakness."<ref>George F. Kennan. (1967). Memoirs, 1925–1950. Boston: Little, Brown. 564.</ref><ref>The Soviet Union Approach to Negotiation: Selected Writings Compiled by the Subcommitte on National Security and International Operations (pursuant to S. Res. 24, 91st Congress). (1969). https://books.google.ru/books?id=T7lgtPwJqq4C</ref><ref>{{r}}</ref>
 
 
 
 
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Revision as of 01:11, 30 August 2020

Introduction: “I have never met anyone who understood Russians.” - Collectivism versus Individualism “Don't bring your own rules into a strange monastery” (Translation).

MANY AN AMERICAN has returned from a first visit to Russia exclaiming, “I don’t understand why we have had such difficulties with the Russians. They’re just like us.” Subsequent visits—and a closer look—will reveal that Russians and Americans do indeed have differences. This book will seek to explain those differences and to help Americans understand why Russians behave like Russians. In the process, American readers may also learn why they behave like Americans. After all, as one sociologist explained, “To know one country is to know none”.

The Surface similarities between Russians and Americans

The surface similarities between Russians and Americans are readily apparent. The most obvious is Russian appearances. Like America, the majority of Russians are white (Cacasian, called Slavs or a Slavic person). If you took the average white Russian, fattened him or her up by 50 pounds, and then had them shop for grotesque clothes at a local Wal-Mart, they would look like an average American.

Russians feel a common identity with Americans as citizens of multiethnic, continental great powers. In history, both nations have been expansionist. Americans moved west from the Atlantic coast across the Great Plains and Rocky Mountains to the Pacific Ocean. Russians expanded mostly east across the Ural Mountains and the vast stretches of Siberia to the Pacific shores, and beyond to Alaska in 1741.

Both tamed a wilderness. Indeed, as Russian and American historians have noted, there is a frontier spirit shared by Siberia and the American West. Both Russians and Americans regard themselves as chosen nations with a messianic mission, destined to bring their own versions of enlightenment to a less fortunate people. America and Russia today are also nuclear powers with the capacity to destroy each other and the rest of the world as well.

Americans and Russians also think big. Both are energetic and inventive. Russians appreciate the casual, direct, and often blunt American way of speaking, which they liken to their own—without pretense and different from the West European manner, which they find too formal, indirect, and less sincere. Yet Russians, despite their traditional suspicion of foreigners, show heartfelt hospitality to visitors from abroad, a trait they share with Americans.

The deeper differences between Russians and Americans In Russia there is the desire “… to find the balance between the conflicting outlooks of Europe and Asia, between Western claims to personal freedom and Oriental insistence on the integration of the individual into the community.” --Nicolas Zernov, Russian Orthodox theologian.13

Americans are rated as the most individualistic country in the world at 91% Whereas Russians are rated as 39%.

Many Americans ask, what is the difference between Americans and Russians? The fastest answer is “collectivism”. In contrast to Americans, who are rated the most individualistic country in the world, Russian, stradling Europe and Asia, have a unique mindset which is both East and West. The topic of collectivism will be discussed in [chapter].

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